What is a sex buddy?
A sex buddy or sleep buddy is someone you are compatible with physically, but incompatible with in terms of lifestyle or temperament. As a result, he is a great love-making partner, but a train wreck when it comes to having a long-term relationship.
If chosen properly, a sleep buddy can be a lot of fun because you get to enjoy all the physical aspects of a relationship without having to put in the work of maintaining a long-term relationship.
Sleep Buddy Partnership
With a sleep buddy, there is an implicit or explicit understanding that the partnership is not exclusive. Each partner has the freedom to date, enter into another relationship, or even marry. Each partner may also decide to end the relationship if they so choose.
In a sleep buddy partnership – the only string attached is the understanding that there are no strings attached.
This is the greatest strength of a casual partnership, but also its greatest weakness. Frequently, someone will want more and try to transform their sleep buddy into a girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband, and that is when things fall apart and great unhappiness ensues.
Although you may be tempted from time to time to want more, do not go down that path.
Remember that a sleep buddy is a great love-making partner but a poor long-term prospect.
That is why you chose to have a casual partnership in the first place.
Sleep Buddy Options
In general, it is best to pick a sleep buddy that is unavailable as a long term partner. There are several options –
1. An ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend
In this case, you have already tried the long term thing, and it did not work out. If you and your ex still enjoy good physical chemistry, then he/she can be a great casual partner.
However, it is important that you only do this if you are totally over your ex., and vice versa. You must firmly believe that anything long term will never work in both the present and the future. If you are still carrying a flame for your ex, or hope that a casual relationship will ultimately lead to something more – then stop and do not go there.
Trying to convert a sleep buddy into something more will just end in tears and a broken heart.
2. A married man or woman
A married man or woman is legally unavailable, thus there is less temptation to make a married sleep buddy into a spouse.
Nevertheless, sleeping with someone else’s spouse has its own complications and moral baggage. Since you are uninterested in having a spousal relationship with your casual partner, you may reason that nobody will get hurt. Often however, one or both parties may choose to lie to their spouse about their indiscretions. When the truth is revealed, there may be loss of trust, broken marriages, and broken families.
Personally, I find it best to be honest with one’s spouse about such matters. In this way, everything is out in the open and there are no dirty little secrets in the closet. However, each situation and each couple is different, so it is something that we must each decide for ourselves.
3. Someone single and unattached
The greatest danger of having a casual relationship with someone single is that one or both parties may want something more. Since there is no history and no legal or emotional impediments, there is much greater temptation to see if a sleep buddy can be something more.
Sleep Buddy – Is It Right for You?
Personally, I find that having an ex as a sleep buddy works out best. I already know that things won’t work out so I will not be wondering and hoping for something more. Plus there is a history and we are usually good friends, so there is a physical as well as an emotional attraction.
A casual sleep relationship is not for everyone. It may lead to obsession, and jealousy, which can destroy not only the friendship that you have with your casual partner but also the long-term relationship with your spouse.
Consider carefully before taking on a sleep buddy. When it works, it can be a lot of fun and be quite healthy for your long-term relationship. When it doesn’t work, it can lead to lost friends and broken relationships.