A friends with benefits relationship seems like the ideal solution for commitment-fearing individuals who want to satisfy their emotional and physical needs without getting into a relationship.
However, many people are unable to make friends with those who have the best benefits.
They don’t respect the rules!
Rules were not meant to be broken. Because if you break these rules, the whole arrangement can be thrown out.
A friends with benefits (or situationship) is the whole point of friendship. The purpose of a friends with benefits relationship (or situationship) is to have all the physical benefits and not all the emotional or meticulous needs that a traditional relationship requires.
It should be fun, stress-free, casual, and not serious.
It’s very important for any friend with benefits to follow these 15 rules to ensure that their relationship is stable and without drama.
Condoms are a must!
This list of rules will begin with the one people seem to forget most: condoms!
It is so simple to remember. Yet, a lot of FWB fail to follow it.
What is the deal with condoms?
It could save you a lot, believe it not.
First, it’s important to remember that even if your FWB is using birth control, it is not always reliable. IUDs have been used to birth babies. You should not rely solely on birth control to avoid a miscarriage.
That’s because it’s certain to complicate the situation.
Condoms are also important because you don’t know who your FWB is putting in bed with, and you’re not all the same.
Condoms are one way to prevent STDs. If that’s not enough to have condoms with anyone you have sex, I don’t know what else is.
Condoms are also a way to stop negative feelings from developing.
You read that right.
It is well-known that if you stop using condoms, it really does mean something. It naturally creates a stronger emotional connection if you are going raw with your sex every time.
This will make you both rethink your relationship and cause confusion. It also gives you two more trust in one another. If condom-free sex is not possible with others, condom use can make them feel more special.
Always see others
This brings me to my next point: you cannot only have sexual relations with your FWB. They are just someone you can turn to if you need something certain.
Many FWB commit the error of not seeing others and only fuck their FWB because that’s what they believe their relationship is for.
But this is wrong!
What do you think will happen if you only see one person and expect them to satisfy your needs?
It is always a good idea not to see your partner as often as possible. Keeping a rotating list of people who you share a room with or spend time with will also help you to not focus too much on your FWB.
You don’t want to end your options. You don’t have to be with your FWB in order to get into a relationship. However, if you find someone you love and are willing to continue a relationship with them, it is possible.
However, if you don’t see other people because you have a FFWB, you might be missing out on the opportunity to meet new people or just being more interesting.
Speak your mind
Holding on to things can also lead to your entire business collapsing.
You don’t have the obligation to communicate with your partner if you’re not in a monogamous, traditional relationship.
Passive aggression is not a good idea, especially if two people are having sex together. You must address the issue and ensure that your FWB is also treated with respect.
This is one of the fastest ways to end any relationship, FWB or otherwise, due to all the tension that builds up and can cause one or both to explode at once.
Talk about things you are concerned about to avoid awkwardness and problems.
Make sex the heart of your relationship
This is a very sloppy thing to do with someone in a committed relationship, but it’s perfectly acceptable for FWB.
Both of you need to remember that this is all about the sex. You shouldn’t treat them like a friend or someone you like to bang. But, it is important to respect them.
You don’t have to treat them as garbage just because you see them only as fucking.
If you want to make things last, don’t make your relationship more complicated than it already is.
Do not go to a friend who has always been your “what-if?”
Never ever, ever get into a FWB with the hope that they will fall in love with you.
You are just setting yourself up to fail.
Even if you feel you have moved on from any feelings you may have at one time for this friend, sex can bring back old feelings.
It is impossible to guarantee that you will not fall in love with someone you once loved and wanted more from.
You’re also putting your FWB into a very awkward situation if they don’t feel the same.
They shouldn’t be a part your private life
As I stated, don’t make them more complicated than they already are.
Your FWB doesn’t have to be involved in every aspect of your life. They don’t have to carry all your problems or be your shoulder.
This is what your friends are there to do.
It’s much easier to keep the relationship simple and separate your personal life from your FWB partner. They won’t cross any lines you don’t agree with, so you will always know where they stand.
Pick someone you don’t have to see often
Most people make mistakes in FWB relationships. The first and most important step is picking your FWB.
It is important to evaluate whether the person you are considering is a good match. I can tell right now that your classmates, coworkers, neighbors, barista at your favorite coffee shop, and so on, are not the right people for this type of relationship.
You may be disappointed that you are unable to make the hottie you see every time you go to FWB. But it’s all for the best.
Avoid creating drama, catching feelings or making it too difficult for each other.
Do not sleep too much, if at all.
Sleepovers are another common FWB error.
They can be situational depending on the relationship between each person and their FWB. However, I have found that not sleeping over is a good rule of thumb.
Everybody knows that cuddling occurs after sex. This is where the lines blur and things start to get confusing.
Even if you don’t think it, your partner might be asking, “What is that?” What is the point of them cuddling me? What does this mean? What does that mean? There are a million other things.
Add in sleeping together and getting up with each other every morning.
Remain jealous of your partner
You should be aware that a FWB relationship doesn’t necessarily mean a monogamous one. This means you can’t be jealous.
It doesn’t matter if they are seen with another person, or hear about them getting together with someone else.
These casual relationships are not conducive to jealousy. If you don’t have the maturity to comply with that rule, a FWB may not be for you.
One trait that I have observed in many FWB is their excessive use of texting.
You don’t have to send a text if you aren’t planning to fuck.
It’s that easy. You’ll make things more complicated if you don’t get along with each other.
You can chat about other topics if the situation requires it. However, do not bombard them with messages asking for their opinion, flirting, or asking questions.
You can just reach them when you are free, and you set the tone for the relationship.
No holidays or gifts
You are not in a relationship so you don’t have to give gifts or buy them stuff unless you truly want to.
It doesn’t matter if you celebrate holidays with them or remember their birthday. The only important date in your FWB relationship is when you will be re-hooking up!
Don’t get entitled
Another major issue that I see is the premature end of many FWB relationships.
Do not ever feel entitled to their time and vice versa. You don’t have to hook up with them every day, they have their lives to think about.
Do not get upset if they are unable to make it or cancel. Accept that they won’t be there to help you, but don’t let it ruin your ego.
Casual relationships offer the perfect environment to experiment with sex. Don’t allow things to get boring or repetitive in a FWB relationship. Experiment!
This is a chance to learn more about each other when it comes to sex. So take advantage of this opportunity!
It won’t last forever!
Unfortunately, you cannot expect this person to remain your FWB for ever. Respect their decision to end the relationship if they so choose. They are not your property, and they can come and go as they wish.
Many FWBs have a problem: they want to keep their FWB for as long as possible, even if things aren’t working anymore or one person isn’t interested in continuing.
Be a good person, and allow things to happen.
Have fun with it
Don’t forget to have fun!
This is what it all boils down to, right?
Although it may seem like there are a lot of rules and things to remember, it is really not difficult to have a conversation about the boundaries, checking in, respecting one another, and keeping it casual.
You need to have fun and be free from care with your FWB or it can become a real relationship.